When it comes to parenting, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Every family adopts different methods, ranging from strict discipline to more relaxed, child-led approaches. Emma, a 38-year-old mom, falls into the latter category. She recently shared her personal story with Bright Side, describing her journey to break away from the authoritarian parenting style she experienced growing up. Now, Emma is reaching out to other parents for advice, as her unconventional methods have sparked criticism, especially from her husband and those around her.
Emma’s choice to parent differently is deeply rooted in her own childhood. Growing up, she faced strict rules and high expectations that significantly impacted her mental health. In her letter, she recalls, “My parents were authoritarian, and the pressure they put on me was immense. It led to anxiety and a strained relationship with them. For years, I didn’t realize just how much it affected my self-esteem.”
Determined not to repeat the same mistakes, Emma vowed that when she had children, she would raise them in a compassionate and understanding environment. Her aim is to create a home filled with love, respect, and open communication. “I want my son Georgie to feel heard and valued—something I didn’t always feel as a child,” she explains. “I think it’s important for him to learn empathy and responsibility, but I want to guide him through these lessons rather than impose them through strict rules.”
Emma’s approach, however, has not come without challenges. Her husband believes that their son, Georgie, now 8 years old, should learn traditional social norms, including the value of apologies and understanding the consequences of his actions. This difference in parenting styles has led to frequent disagreements. Emma feels that forcing children to apologize when they don’t genuinely mean it could lead to emotional harm. “I won’t make my son say ‘sorry’ or ‘thank you’ if he doesn’t truly feel it,” she says. “Forcing these behaviors teaches children to be insincere, and that’s not what I want for Georgie.”
Emma’s parenting philosophy was put to the test during a recent incident at the playground. When Georgie pushed another child, Emma decided not to demand an immediate apology. Instead, she approached the other child and apologized on her son’s behalf, hoping Georgie would learn from her actions. Unfortunately, the other child’s mother wasn’t satisfied and insisted that Georgie apologize directly. “When I explained that I didn’t want to force him to apologize because I believe it could be harmful, she called me an irresponsible mother,” Emma recalls.
This incident added to the ongoing tension between Emma and her husband, who believes that stricter discipline is necessary. Many of their friends and family members also disagree with Emma’s parenting methods. “Some people think that being a good parent means controlling your child’s actions so that you maintain a certain image,” she says. “But I believe my role as a mother is to be a friend to my son, to help him understand his emotions, and to navigate life alongside him.”
Despite the criticism, Emma remains firm in her approach, which emphasizes creating a nurturing environment where Georgie can develop his own sense of freedom and responsibility. She stresses that this doesn’t mean she ignores her role as a parent. “I’m not saying I’m equal to my son, but I don’t see myself as superior to him either,” Emma explains. “We have a strong bond, and when I need time for myself, I tell him. Now, he’s learning to communicate his needs to me in the same way.”
However, the constant judgment from others has made Emma question herself. “I’ve always believed in my parenting style, and I’ve seen positive changes in Georgie because of it,” she says. “But with all the criticism from my husband and other parents, I’m beginning to doubt myself. Am I doing the right thing for my son? Am I too lenient, or is everyone else just too set in their ways?”
Emma concluded her letter with an appeal to other parents. “I’d love to hear from others—what do you think of my approach? Am I wrong to believe that forcing kids to say ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’ can be emotionally damaging, or is there a middle ground that I haven’t considered?”
Emma reaffirms her love for her son and her desire to raise him with empathy and understanding. “I want Georgie to grow up feeling free, loved, and heard. My approach may not be perfect, but I’m trying my best to break the cycle I experienced growing up. I hope that counts for something.”
If you’re a parent, what do you think of Emma’s approach? Is this style of parenting beneficial, or do you think a more traditional approach is needed? Emma is genuinely curious to hear your thoughts.
